Perplexed

With the details of the deaths of the Benoit family steadily coming to light, my stomach churns, and I shutter what to think and make of the situation. It hurts to see and hear all of that, and that leaves me with so many mixed feelings. It's to the point that I really don't want to think about it any longer because I want to remember Chris Benoit as the great man that I knew of him to be. But it's hard. So very hard.

But what has transpired is more than just a blemish. I don't think I even want to continue to think of a more fitting term.

I am perplexed. I am sad. I am feeling so many things that I just don't know how to describe it all. Maybe I'm just numb.

!!!

Chris Benoit is dead.

He and his wife Nancy, and their seven year-old son, Daniel are dead as well. What the hell?

It is the morning after I have found out. The details have slowly come in, and it's becoming an even bigger nightmare than what it already was. As a wrestling fan growing up, as someone who tries to keep tabs on the current product every now and then, and as a Chris Benoit fan, this is at the end of the day, very tragic. So far, it appears that a double murder-suicide is what apprently took place.

My head is spinning as I try to get a grasp on the situation. To the point that I'm beginning to tire myself out.

But before I end this, I just way to express how much I loved to see Chris wrestle, and everything that he was. The consumate professional who possessed unequaled intensity and respect for not just wrestling, but life as well. Despite the preliminary details of the case, Chris Benoit was a great man who was part on a wonderful family, and I will try to remember him for all the good things that he was. My condolances to the Benoit extended family, and to all that knew him, and all the other fans out there as well.

This is truly a sad day ysterday was, and so will the next few days and weeks. This is all just so tragic. It's times like this that one should always remember to enjoy and live life for the beautiful gift that it is.

I didn't wanna go to bed all sad and depressed, so I watched a few episodes of the Simpsons on DVD to brighten me up a bit before I went to bed... hrrm, I few asleep with the light on. *sigh* Well I suppose that's all for now.

Just rememer folks: "Don't sweat the small stuff."

Lazy

I am trying to juggle so many things right now, that a part of me is just plain lazy to do any of them or anything else. Hrrmm, I wonder if that even makes any sense.

But what I do know is that I need to get back to the ol screenplay. I haven't worked on it for a couple weeks now. There's been some pretty crazy and not so crazy things that have popped up that have taken up my time, but I really need to get back to it. I'm a little over 80 pages done, and I want to be completely done by the time the clock strikes midnight on the night of June 30th. That is the goal, and I intend on sticking to it. I got a bunch of other things I need to get done by the end of the summer, and I don't want this screenplay being dragged out through all that.

As I said that I want this thing completed by June 30, I wanna get 15 pages done by the end of this week. And when I say this week, I mean by midnight Friday night.

Party Like A Rockstar

So Bella's party was pretty crazy. Mostly because I was drunk, and re-reading my post after that night... wel, I was drunk, there too. I mean, remember that line from Prince's 1999??

"I was dreaming when I wrote this."

Well, for me, and the previous post was... "I was drunk when I wrote this."

Turns out I took around 90-something photos on Saturday night. Well, I didn't take all 90 photos, but well, you get the idea. Anyway, thank goodness for 2GB memory cards.

So yeah. I went to Day 2 of Super-Con. Met and chatted things up with Terry and Rachel Dodson. I wish I knew image codes, or else I would post an image of their work. But yeah, the Dodson are good people, and Terry added to my sketchbook. Next time when I get the chance I will definitely try to get a commissioned piece from them.

I also saw Knocked Up last night, too. Funny as fuck!

*sigh* I have a jury summons this week.

It was a Good Day.

I went to the Isotope launch party for Matt Silady on Friday night. It was fun. See someone's publishd work come to fruition is an amazing sight.

Matt, congratulations. Well deserved.

I went to Super-Con this afternoon. Bill Morrision added a great piece to my film noir sketchbook. It is absolutely beautiful. And I got a thing or five signed by Mark Waid, too. I just wush I could've gotten Jim Lee to add ato my film noir sketchbook. Boo!

Even still, I've learned why he is so good at what he does.

He takes painstaking care of his craft. It was so very evident waiting in line for him to do a sketch for me. For in the end, I didn't get a sketch.

That does indeed suck, but I am appreciative of thecare that he takes in his sketches. For that I am very thankful despite not comin way from Super-Con with a sketch by Jim Lee. Again, it sucks. But for those that had said that they would be happy with just a simple head-shot / two-minute sketch.... i call Bougie..... because, you like, I know you want something more. Especially if someone the likes of Jim "effin fucken" Lee is willing to take the time to do, then just let him take the time to do the sketch.

I want a a film noir illustration from the man, If he's goin to take the time to do the sketch that the others in front of me want of him, then I want the sketch that he's willing to do for me.

Jim: Thank you for staying as long as you did for us on Saturday 2, 2007 at Super-Con. One day, I will get a sketch from you that falls under the film noir column. Until then, well, it was a good day. For us adults, we celebrated Bella's B-Day at Farenheit. Twas a good time that we had. Happy Birthday Belle! It's three in the a.m on early Sunday morning.... and shit! I gotta be up in six hours in order to make it to Day 2 of Super-Con 2007! Oh well, just got grt it through as per usual. I know I can stll get a chance at her.

It will come.... and how we stumble upon a bachelorette party, and well, how cool was that? hrrm, nvm.

Online

Damn. Having no internet connection is a double edged sword.

On the good, I can just relax, go out and do whatever and just unplug myself from what's goin on. Yet on the other hand, I'm unplugged from what's goin on. I posted a bulletin on myspace about the photos I posted from last Friday night at Trad'r Sam. It's sort of like Bud Geracie's Wake of the Week... Only, you know, about a night out at a bar...

The bulletin consisted of two lists. One about what is self-evident in the photos, and the other about stuff that only people who were there would know about. I figure I'd go a step further, and rip off Geracie's column once again for the purposes of this post.

-I got a page or two of dialogue on the ol screenplay done. Altogether total is now 75 pages.

-Goin to the Isotope on Friday for the launch party of Matt Silady's The Homeless Channel.

-Today, Wednesday May 30th, is Bella's Birthday. Happy Birthday Bella!

-I took my financial aid exit counseling, and found out the government thinks I'm not scheduled to graduate until May 27, 2008. Interesting?!?

-Super-Con is comin' up this weekend, June 2 & 3.

-I'm gonna have to cut my pull-list down. And it is gonna have to be a very considerable cut. I wonder how Greg is gonna react to that.

-I'm thinking the plan for the next screenplay isn't gonna be what I've been telling people. I think I wanna go in another direction. Comparing the script I'm working now, and the original second project just seems a little too similar in terms of tonality. I've been thinking that I should change it up, if only to prove to myself and to others my range of capability. A lot of back and forth right now. Nothing definite until I finish what I'm working on now.

-On Tuesday, I exchanged the Chucks I got on Monday, and got some Puma's instead.

-I wanna go to the driving range. Anyone down to come with?

-I really wanna pick up the Bloc Party cd's. I feel like an ass for not already owning them.

-Gotta start thinkin about how to break down the short film I wanna make this summer.

-Went to the A's-Rangers game on Monday after stopping by Tim & Cindy's place. It was there "going away party," and well, I wanted to make sure I went so as to say "goodbye." Well, not "goodbye," but you know, wish them well.

-"Fine Young Asians." Cindy: believe me when I tell you that I will make FYA come to life.

-I'm gonna visit Justin today.

Challenges

So I didn't let out a river of tears that I was expecting. It was just accomplishment, and an exhilarating feeling. I still gotta figure out my living situation after July, and what my plans are for the future in general. I know that writing is quite literally one of the most uncertain endeavours that a person can set out to do, but then again, that's why Iove doing it as I do.

I like meeting and exceeding challenges. I've overcome a lot of them within just the last two years or so, and accomplished a lot of things. Yet, there are so many more challenges that await me in the years to come. And that is how it should be. The challenge right now is where i want to live after this July.